Interview with with Rabbi Sibyl

Disclaimer: These interviews were originally published in May 2021.

A woman with short gray hair wearing a black jacket and a floral scarf, smiling at the camera against a plain background.

We sat down with Rabbi Sybil of West London Synagogue to know how menstruation is written within Judaism.

Key term: Niddah

A family purity law governing the separation of husband and wife during a woman’s menstruation. Physical contact between spouses is avoided and they sleep in separate beds while a woman is in Niddah. Some orthodox couples also avoid passing objects directly to each other, seeing each other undress, or engaging in flirtatious conversation.

Ricebox Studio: Are there any interpretations of menstruation within the Torah and how is it represented?

Rabbi Sibyl: It’s just very matter of fact. The Torah doesn’t seem positive or negative. It’s just neutral.

RS: Are there any religious activities that menstruating women are forbidden from doing?

Rabbi Sibyl: All religious activities remain the same. You pray as normal. Your relationship with God does not change. It is beyond what is happening physically.

Most people think that when a woman is menstruating, she cannot touch the Torah scroll, the holiest object. Absolute rubbish! The Torah is not defiled by a woman’s touch. In fact, the same word used for a woman who is menstruating, is used to define holy objects. The word is tamei Ritual objects are not unclean – they are special, separate, different from ordinary objects. So is a woman during her period.

RS: What would you say to women who feel impure physically or spiritually during this period?

Rabbi Sibyl: These are all descriptions that were made by men, so I think it’s got their values imposed on it. There’s a lot of different things that go into it – its very hard to know exactly, but I’m going to throw out a few random ideas.

I think the idea of keeping separate [during your period] plus seven days means that, on an average menstrual cycle, you come back to your husband at the height of your fertility. So maybe the system was designed to ensure that women have as many children, as easily as possible. Another one: when you are menstruating and you feel lousy, sometimes you just want to be on your own and not be hugged or cuddled. It doesn’t go for everyone, but many have a feeling of “just let me be.”

In Ethopian Jewish communities, they had a separate house in the village for the women to live in during their period. They cooked and chatted together and didn’t have to do any work for the family, because there were other people taking care of things.

All these rituals and rules about going to the Mikvah and bathing were not just for women. These rules were for men too. If there was any semen produced, they would also have to separate and go to the Mikvah before they could be with their wives. If you touched the corpse of something, you would have to ritually immerse. But because for women it occurred so frequently and regularly the rituals surrounding separation and bathing have been understood or interpreted to be mainly for them.

My feeling is that the men probably said “We don’t need to” and the women said “But we want to”, because what it does is give them control over their own sexuality. They’re the ones who decide when they sleep with husbands. It’s not the husbands who decide when they sleep with their wives. So it gave women control, which they didn’t have in many other ways of their life because of the way society developed. The women carried on, separated from the husband for the five plus seven days and going to the Mikvah.

RS: Regarding words like “separation”, “purification” and “unclean”, why do you think these words are used to describe menstruation?

Rabbi Sibyl: I would say that this is a very spiritual time actually and a very special time in that this is something unique to women. It is the gift of life and in a sense it’s death, because it’s evidence of a non-birth, but it confirms the power that you can give life.